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06 September 2007 @ 09:08 pm
Annabelle and I went to the toilet together today and the strangest thing happened. As we were washing our hands, this woman in her fifties, lugging two huge bags asked us if we were staff at Holiday Inn Atrium. We told her we weren't. And then she started telling us about how this guy at some gaming convention had been extrememly rude to her and how upset she was, then she started talking about how he thought that he could bully her cos he saw that she was an old woman. From there, she launched into this half-hour monologue about the most random things such as how she loves durian mooncakes and how the best ones come from Goodwood Park, how there are gangsters at the community centre near her house, how the auntie at her HDB flat sells kueh, how the satay she had today was HORRIBLE ( as she screamed several times), how sharkfin soup should not be watery, how she fears getting diabetes and more significantly, she continuously emphasised that she was single and she didn't have a shoulder to cry on unlike all her other friends. 

Annabelle and I were more amused than anything cos you have to admit this is pretty random. And for some reason whenever Annabelle and I are together, weird things like this happen. Like there was once, we had this taxi uncle who was ranting about how "or" means yam and "han zi" means sweet potato and then he demanded to know whether we like "or" or "han zi". But anyway, back to the auntie. We know she was sweet and she meant no harm, but for her to spill her guts like she did to us, she must have been really lonely. Which is kinda saddening. And horrible as it sounds, scary as well. Cos for a moment, i had a flash of what it might be like if I was unmarried at her age. Would it really be so bad not to have someone's shoulder to cry on? I've never really thought of marriage. And in fact, to a certain extent, the idea has never really appealed to me. I'm just at a stage of my life when it doesn't seem important. I've got way more things i want to do with my life right now. But fast forward thiry years from now, would i be accosting strangers in public toilets just so that I can get some form of attention? The thought was scary. I asked Annabelle whether she would be willing to listen to me talk about snow-skin mooncakes from Marriot and being fat if I had no husband who was obliged to listen to me. To that she replied, "Of course I would, but I also hope that you will be able to come up slightly more interesting topics." 

The truth is, being single rocks. You're free to do as you wish, you plan your time around yourself and best of all you're accountable to yourself. But being single in a couples' world, whether you like it or not, bites from time to time. When you go out with your friends and when you all are trying to make your way through a club, and the boyfriends naturally lead their girlfriends through the crowds and you're left to fend for yourself. Or when its the festive season, and couples dance closer to each other as it gets later into the night. Every single girl definitely goes through those "I WANT TO CUDDLE DAMNIT!" feelings, but it's a bit like a bad hair day. On any other day, you are totally in love with your spunky Posh Spice haircut, but it's just that one day where it refuses to behave and no matter what you do, it's like the cosmic forces are working to ruin it. The key to keeping sane and not doing a Britney "let's shave my hair off" equivalent to your single life (as in, a) lunge into any relationship in hopes that being in a shitty one is better than not being in one entirely or b) let those random lonely moments eat into you until you become slightly socially inept in general) is to realise that being in a relationship or not has its pros and cons. So while single 50-year old me will have to call Annabelle and traumatise her with the most painfully mundane aspects of my life, married 50-year old me will have to nag my husband cos he has left his socks on the floor again. 

I'm not too sure which one is worse but then again i don't know if you can even say that one's worse than the other, but in the meantime, I'm happy with the way things are. I'm just more concerned about what random experience Annabelle and I are going to have when we share a cab together home later. 
Lianster in La La Landlianster on September 7th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
I think the beauty of (most) people is that they always find contentment in whatever situation they're in.

If we're in love, we relish in the sweet love.
If we're single, we relish the freedom.

Whether you are married or single at 50, i'm sure you'll be contented no matter what. ;)